That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
