Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
