She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize