i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
