Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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