I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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