Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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