I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
