you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.