1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize