I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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