Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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