it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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