guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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