Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
17 year olds will be the death of me.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
