That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Swine flu is the new snow day.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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