Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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