the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I enjoy the company of your penis
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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