He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
