My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
