So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
