That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
