This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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