Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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