my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
