I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
