you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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