i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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