Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
