Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Pooping to opera.
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