We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
