I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize