Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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