38 yer olds are good kisserssss
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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