They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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