I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
