textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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