dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
