I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I understand Curling. That high.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
