Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
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proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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