Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
