Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
