just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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