Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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