I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
