I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
