I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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