Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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