There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
