he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize