So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize