Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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