Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
