So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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