i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
