I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
i've created a new STD.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize