All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
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im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
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Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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