Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.

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  (650): I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs. http://tfl.nu/bo8w
  Replies (7) Good night (1858) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it

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  (802): you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it http://tfl.nu/ykku
  Replies (27) Good night (3525) Bad night (750)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet

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  (845): My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet http://tfl.nu/jo6v
  Replies (29) Good night (1101) Bad night (3860)
• Favorite

  (289): View more from Ontario

  i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?

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  (289): i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going? http://tfl.nu/rdp8
  Replies (20) Good night (882) Bad night (5333)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?

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  (518): The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right? http://tfl.nu/odtd
  Replies (25) Good night (10360) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.

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  (928): Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting. http://tfl.nu/1dh0
  Replies (56) Good night (5721) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.

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  (409): There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit. http://tfl.nu/49qn
  Replies (3) Good night (805) Bad night (2626)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'

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  (508): I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.' http://tfl.nu/78ru
  Replies (7) Good night (2474) Bad night (1094)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house

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  (573): i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house http://tfl.nu/7ii5
  Replies (3) Good night (1743) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car

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  (562): Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car http://tfl.nu/galf
  Replies (6) Good night (1281) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you

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  (409): There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you http://tfl.nu/exfd
  Replies (1) Good night (1112) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time

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  (860): It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time http://tfl.nu/gqs4
  Replies (1) Good night (670) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.

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  (925): I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time. http://tfl.nu/6mzl
  Replies (3) Good night (1267) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.

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  (972): Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd. http://tfl.nu/dgnv
  Replies (2) Good night (497) Bad night (196)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?

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  (859): Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"? http://tfl.nu/ijad
  Replies (8) Good night (475) Bad night (143)

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