I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The Olympian is in my bed
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am