ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.