is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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