i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
