He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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