Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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